If you haven't seen Memphis aristocrunk rappers Lord T and Eloise live, and you have at least an ounce of crunk in you, head to Overton Square's Tower Courtyard this Thursday, July 3 at 6 p.m. to see them at Thursdays Squared. (Tickets here.)
Lord T and Eloise are ultra-wealthy otherworldly brothers who burst onto the Memphis music scene in 2006 with one mission: to save rap music. They been all over the world (and beyond) spreading their gospel of wealth, women, and day drinking ever since.
I was invited to their mansion last Friday (at an undisclosed location) for an extremely rare interview. As we sat in their well-appointed parlor, sipping fine champagne from bejeweled goblets, they shared their unique outlook on society, life, and their latest projects. My questions/comments are in bold.
Eloise: Happy Friday. Cheers to you.
(We all clink goblets.)
Eloise: What exactly do you do, young Holly?
I write a blog called I Love Memphis.
Lord T: Great name. Do you still love Memphis even though you write about it all the time?
Of course. I get to write about all the best parts of Memphis. Whatever's fun or new or neat or tasty.
Eloise: Sounds like you're describing Lord T to me.
Eloise: You can ask us profound questions about the future of humanity, global politics, socioeconomic breakdowns. We have all the answers because we did it all.
Tell me about your history. How'd you get started?
Lord T: It all kind of started in the womb for us.
Eloise: That was long ago. It was very warm in there, I remember. I think we developed our mission there, in the womb. Until the womb became a burden on us and we needed to enter the world and spread our gospel.
I went to the first Lord T and Eloise show at the Hi-Tone, I think in 2006. Y'all were throwing money from the stage.
Lord T: We do that every show, to give back. It's part of our charity.
Eloise: We don't deal with bureaucracies or charitable organizations. We actually just stand there and throw money out to people. It cuts out the middle man.
What's new? I hear you're putting out a new mix tape.
Eloise: We actually completed it, but dropped it in the Mississippi River. We have a diving team looking for it right now.
Lord T: It was a late night. I don't know if you've seen our "Day Drinking" video.
Tell me about your daily lives.
Eloise: We lead very separate lives. I spend many of my days facilitating business expediencies. I don't know if you know what that means…
It sounds fast and complicated.
Eloise: Right. I carry a lot of the burden of the empire on my shoulders. I get to play, but not quite as much as my brother here.
Lord T: For instance, I woke up naked under a table this morning with crushed grapes everywhere. It seems that at three in the morning I decided to make my own wine. It seems I was semi-successful. I'll try again tonight.
Eloise: Sounds delicious.
Lord T: Yes, very fresh. I still have little seeds in my toenails.
What's your inspiration for your music?
Lord T: Great times. (Ed. note: Here, Lord T described the great times in great detail. Unfortunately I can't share that without going past a PG-13 rating, but suffice it to say that it involves laughter, sunshine, and a wide variety of adult activities.)
Eloise: I think he got it. More or less. Those are, at the very least, our muses.
Let's talk about Memphis. Do you love Memphis?
Eloise: I do. I love it very much. It taught me much of what I know about life, and for that reason I can't help but love it.
Lord T: I love it completely. I've been everywhere in the world, and there's no place like it.
Eloise: We've even been off-world.
Lord T: Yeah. We've gone galactic. And still, no place like this. Nothing has the grit and grime, the flavor and the attitude of this place. There's just something about it.
What do you listen to?
Eloise: I listen to a lot of sycophants talk to me.
Lord T: I prefer city noise. And country laughter.
Eloise: If you're talking about musical groups, I weren't aware that there were any others besides Lord T and Eloise.
Tell me about when you performed Bonnaroo.
Eloise: About how dirty it was? How hot and sweaty and sticky it was? It's like being under a giant magnifying lens. On mushrooms. In the dirt. I don't know who's controlling the magnifying glass over there, but they're having a good time burning all the little music festival goers.
Do you have a team of people who get you stage ready?
Eloise: We do. It's a very sophisticated process. It requires lots of dipping, shining, and polishing. And chiseling. Lot of chiseling, shaping, and molding.
Lord T: The heat really messes with my hair.
Eloise: Tell me about it. These curlers are killing me right now.
Sounds like you lead busy, extravagant lives. Are Lord T and Eloise single?
Eloise: Yes, we are. We found out early on that relationships aren't necessarily in synch with our lifestyles. The only relationships we're in are open ones. Wide open.
Lord T: We're single and we're ready to mingle. And there's no better weekend to do it than one full of fireworks and explosions.
So the ladies (and guys) need to definitely come out on July 3, if they're interested. And get there early, and get to the front of the crowd, right?
Eloise: Yes, and have their little phone numbers in hand.
Lord T and Eloise with special guest Kaleidophonix
Overton Square Tower Courtyard
Thursday, July 3
6 p.m. – 11 p.m.
21 and up to get in the gate
Tickets are $10 in advance and $15 at the gate and include one drink ticket