Give Me Your Best Food Pun, Win a Giant Bag of Locally Produced Groceries

Give Me Your Best Food Pun, Win a Giant Bag of Locally Produced Groceries

Ahem, local foodies: I've got a contest for you, but you'd better act quickly.

Whole Foods Poplar has given me a gigantic bag full of locally-produced groceries to give away to one lucky I Love Memphis reader. All of the items in the (very full) bag come from within 200 miles of Memphis.

Whole Foods Gift Bag

Here's what's in the big, thermal tote bag:

- Giadella's pizza (Nashville, Tenn.)
- Lucchesi's gorgonzola spinach ravioli (Memphis, Tenn.)
- GrowAgra organic wheatgrass juice (Paris, Tenn.)
- Daily Blessing goat milk soap (Hernando, Miss.)
- Thistle Farms body balm (Nashville, Tenn.)
- J. Brooks Coffee (Memphis, Tenn.)
- Lucchesi's marinara sauce (Memphis, Tenn.)
- Kalli's baklava (Memphis, Tenn.)
- International Foods Tahitian bon bons (Smyrna, Tenn.)
- OC Vegan Green Goddess Popcorn (Memphis, Tenn.)
- Aquation water (Nashville, Tenn.)
- Memphis Marinades chicken seasoning (Memphis, Tenn.)
- Nikki's Hot Seasoning (Memphis, Tenn.)

If you combine the pasta, sauce, water and baklava, that's pretty much dinner.

Want it? Here's the deal:

1. You must leave a comment on this post that includes some kind of food-related pun by 5 p.m. today (April 18th, 2013).

2. You must be at least 21 years old.

3. You must be in the Memphis area (because this thing is way to big to mail).

I'll pick a winner based on the quality / groan-worthiness of the pun, based on my own silly whims. If they're all so awesome that I can't choose, I'll enlist the help of a stranger (likely a derby girl). Ready, go!

***We have a winner!***

Congrats to Brooke, who won for this pun:

"A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies."

Comments Make Us Happy

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hillary c
When making butter there is little margarine for error...  
April 18, 2013 2:25pm
Keith Montgomery
omelette you finish in a minute but this is the best food pun of all time.  
April 18, 2013 2:26pm
Jessica
I would go to the store to grab some cashews, but the store drives me nuts!  *yukyukyuk*
April 18, 2013 2:26pm
melynda
A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion!
April 18, 2013 2:27pm
Lauren
When someone offers my grandfather an artichoke, he always says "If someone likes those, they 'arti-choke.'" He thinks it's hilarious (and yes, I giggle everytime).
April 18, 2013 2:27pm
Michael Flaherty
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
April 18, 2013 2:27pm
Jessie W.
A cannibal showed up late to my dinner party, so I gave him the cold shoulder.
April 18, 2013 2:28pm
Kelly Hulvey
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
April 18, 2013 2:29pm
Tim Taylor
Penne for your tortes?
April 18, 2013 2:31pm
Amber C
The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands. 
April 18, 2013 2:31pm
Kelly Hulvey
There was a guy who played the organ in his garden to get organically grown food.
April 18, 2013 2:31pm
Carrie
I can't buy you soy sauce at Whole Foods tonight, but I can shoyu tamari.  
April 18, 2013 2:33pm
casey
i relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
April 18, 2013 2:33pm
lisa miller
I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
April 18, 2013 2:35pm
Judy Jacobs
What did one leftover say to the other? "Foiled again". 
April 18, 2013 2:36pm
Nichole
I don't wanna taco 'bout it.
April 18, 2013 2:36pm
Sam Tickle
You have to lay out some boundaries, otherwise it is simply a contest to see who has the best memory for funny turns of phrase. Demand original content.
April 18, 2013 2:37pm
Ryan Rogalski
Did you hear about the Cannibal that went to Memphis in May BBQ fest?  He showed up late so they gave him the cold shoulder! #rimshot
April 18, 2013 2:38pm
Ali
Being a vegetarian would be a missed steak ;)
April 18, 2013 2:38pm
Grace W.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
April 18, 2013 2:39pm
Carrie Harris
I decided becoming a vegatarian was a missed steak . 
April 18, 2013 2:40pm
teddy G
The women who slaved over a hundred ginegrbread men for the church bake sale was devestated to learn her children had eaten the left sides over every single tasty cookie.  Always resourceful, she used marshmellow creme to paste the remaining halves together and redecorate each.  When asked how how the cookies turned out, she smiled and said, "I think they all turned out 'all right'".
April 18, 2013 2:40pm
david
I'm so very ashamed, but I'm going to go ahead and leave this here...
April 18, 2013 2:41pm
Lisa
A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
April 18, 2013 2:42pm
Jarrod
It's too bad this bag doesn't include fresh fish; I'd enter just for the halibut.
April 18, 2013 2:43pm
Sarah D
I'm about to get jalepeno business.
April 18, 2013 2:43pm
Brian A
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
April 18, 2013 2:44pm
Apperson
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
April 18, 2013 2:45pm
Jacob Fish
The cannibal passed his mother in the woods.
April 18, 2013 2:46pm
Johnathan
My job was outsourced butt we're making ends meat. 
April 18, 2013 2:46pm
BA
If there were fish in there, I would wonder what the catch was.
April 18, 2013 2:47pm
Ryan Rogalski
Why does Booker T Jones like to play the organ in his garden?  To make sure his veggies are organically grown!
April 18, 2013 2:47pm
Nathan
Trying to decide on the best Memphis barbecue is really morsel combat.
April 18, 2013 2:47pm
Anastasia
Why did the banana go to the psychiatrist? Because it had a split personality.
April 18, 2013 2:47pm
Cat Pena
Those frat boys were so hungry they eta pi.  
April 18, 2013 2:48pm
Jay
Lettuce taco 'bout about how grate the cheese is on Giadella's pizza, how Nikki's Hot Seasoning a salts your senses, and how fun it is to pilaf the layers of Kalli's baklava.
April 18, 2013 2:48pm
Sarah
In QUESO trouble, pray to CHEESUS.    (Sorry that one was no GOUDA.  I need to take a BRIEther.)
April 18, 2013 2:49pm
Cindy
What did one leftover say to another?? Foiled again!! 
April 18, 2013 2:50pm
George
Your contest pickles me tink!
April 18, 2013 2:50pm
Rebecca
A man is a bus driver on Sesame Street and insists on meeting all of his riders. At the first stop, two overweight women got on the bus; both are named Patty. At the next stop, a mentally challenged boy named Ross got on. At the final stop, a disgusting man named Lester Freeze got on, took off his shoes, and picked at his bunions. When the bus driver got home, his wife asked him if he met anyone new that day. He said, "Two obese Patties, special Ross; Lester Freeze picks his bunions on a Sesame Street bus."
April 18, 2013 2:51pm
Missy W
There's some good submissions so far; orange you in a pickle.
April 18, 2013 2:51pm
Tricia
Holy crêpe! To buy all that food I would definitely knead more dough!
April 18, 2013 2:52pm
David q.
Food is The "SOLE" of a person's heart!
April 18, 2013 2:53pm
Dabney Ring
I need to win this because I ran out of chicken seasoning and Ihave been winging it.
April 18, 2013 2:54pm
richard
My father always said, "Chilli today.  Hot Tamale"  Cracked him up
April 18, 2013 2:54pm
Susanne
Water you doing, giving away all this awesome stuff? (Ouch, ouch, ouch.)
April 18, 2013 2:54pm
Sam Tickle
Rosemary, dressed up for dinner in a pepper red sheath kept off the floor by thin spaghetti straps, held the attention of the men in the room carelessly the way another woman might have held an empty cup she did not want refilled but had not yet bothered to set down.
April 18, 2013 3:00pm
Lauren H.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta...
April 18, 2013 3:03pm
Sarah
I've given up on being a vegetarian. It'd be a missed steak.
April 18, 2013 3:03pm
Diane
Whenever I eat yogurt I always feel cultural which makes me want Indian food but you have naan left.
April 18, 2013 3:03pm