Memphian no. 300 (of 365) was very excited about submitting to an interview, under one condition - that he remain photographically anonymous. That's because he's @vampilovemem, a guy who teases, cajoles and really, truly loves Memphis (even as he's pretending to be a vampire version of me.)

Here, he answers my questions about vampires, anonymity and his favorite targets:

Name: @vampilovemem

Occupation: Listed in the Occupational Outlook Handbook under “Professional.”

Hometown: Memphis, TN

Neighborhood: Outside the Parkways (gasp!)

Why did you start @vampilovemem?
Mostly to poke fun at the high-profile target @ilovememphis.

Is anyone safe from your satire?
I was going to say Joey Dorsey, but I recall that I’ve targeted him too. So, no, no one is safe. Not even me. Sometimes I make fun of behaviors/opinions that I myself am guilty of.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Vampires don’t age, so it doesn’t actually apply. That said: a marine biologist…in outer space!

What did you have for dinner last night?
Locally sourced tofu Pronto Pup at my underground supper club, of course. Kelly English ate like four of them. We all laughed and laughed, such good times.

Why stay anonymous? Is it fear? Something else?
At first it was purely fear. And I guess it was warranted, because some people got SUPER mad at me because of some of my inscrutable Tweets that they could not scrute. But nowadays it’s about 10% fear and 90% joy, as I have found it rather fun to say stuff I couldn’t get away with on my “real” Twitter account, mostly due to naughty language. Reminds me of January 6th Tweet: “My apologies to Josh Pastner, I used language unbecoming of coach. Let me correct by saying, I would make love his brains out. #ilovememphis”

What are your pet peeves?
That it bothers me when people don’t understand that @vampilovemem is ironic/satirical. I need to get over that. Another pet peeve: Fake Twitter personalities that break character.

If you didn’t live in Memphis, what would you miss the most?
I have lived away from Memphis a few times, so I know the heartache precisely: Not being here every minute of every day to see what happens next in Memphis.

If you had to choose between eating at the same place every day for a year or never being allowed to eat the same place twice, which would you pick?
I would definitely choose not being allowed to eat at the same place twice. As much as I’m a creature of comfort, there are too many great places to eat in the world to not want to try as many as possible.
Wait, strike that. I would choose to eat lemongrass tofu at Pho Hoa Binh every day for a year. #lemongrasstofu

Tell me something I don’t know about you:
How many atoms are in my body.

Finish this sentence: I love Memphis because:
It hasn’t sold out. Possibly because no one is buying, but there aren’t many American cities you can say that about.